Helping little ones through times of adjustment

In about three months we are having a new baby, just six weeks after that we will be moving to a new state. These are big adjustments for adults and are HUGE for a toddler/preschooler. Over the years we've had 6 (going on 7) babies, and moved 5 (going on 6) times; 4 of those moves have involved little ones. I've learned to recognize the signals that my children give me that just maybe they are struggling with these transitions. They have each reacted differently, but they do act out in some way, even when handled well. *some manifestations we've seen of this have been lack of self-control (temper tantrums/screaming), defiance, sleep problems, clingy, constipation, and increased sicknesses.

While our older kids have a much better idea of what to expect during these transitions, can talk to us about how they are feeling about what is going on, and are VERY excited.... Our little ones just don't quite know what to think of all of this; and so they struggle.

*While we don't like to see our little ones struggle, we also see this as an opportunity to teach self-control and coping skills. The issue is not so much that they are struggling, but are we teaching them and helping them along in the process?

As a family we spend time talking about the new baby and our new home. We talk about past moves, and point out the moving trucks in our neighborhood (living on base means a constant stream of movers!). Some of our school time involves reading about our new state, and reading about new babies/pregnancy. I also spend time with the little ones reading simple "new baby" books and right now those seem to be Miss J and Miss C's favorite books to read. I spend extra time cuddling with them when they need it. Yet even with all of this they can and do struggle, it is all still so foreign to them.

In the last couple of months both Miss J and Miss C have been showing us that they are struggling with these transitions. Not in huge ways, but we can see it. Both are naturally very cuddly and clingy. I like that, I like that my little ones enjoy cuddling and prefer to be with "their people" (this includes siblings). This time passes quickly and all too soon they will be off playing and not needing so much of that cuddle time....but when their needs increase as they have, it shows us that they are struggling.

Miss J has always LOVED mommy's bed. From birth laying in my bed could sooth her when nothing else could (not even being in my arms)! So it has been no surprise to us that in the last two months she has started asking to sleep in bed with me. Now, I'm just not a co-sleeping kind of parent. I just don't sleep well with a baby/child in my bed, and I need my sleep. We've been trying out nap times in bed with me, which has been nice, but just not doing it for her. It is night time that she wants to be with me. Ah, how to balance the needs of this sweet little girl and this pregnant mommy?
We set up a little bed for her in our room last night. We will see how that goes. I imagine she will be spending many nights there. I'm guessing we will also have a little guest IN our bed from time to time over the next few months. She will be fine, she will enjoy her new baby brother (who she is very excited about and talks about all the time) and once we settle into our new home she will see that things really are not that different. In the mean time we will love on her (and the rest of the kids too!) and continue doing what we have been doing, trying to keep things "normal" while still preparing for these transitions trusting that God will give us the wisdom, grace and protection to get through this time and praying that we will glorify him in all that we do.

*I hope I did not paint a bleak picture here. Our little girls (and all of our children) are still cheerfully enjoying life. These issues are coming up and part of life, but they are not overwhelming and taking over our lives.

I'm linking to Raising Homemakers today.

baptism and AWANA awards

Just a couple of weeks ago Mr. S asked to be baptized! The timing was great to be able to do that at the AWANA awards night, which was extra fun for him. Miss J and Miss C were quite excited to watch him up there. I know the other kids were too, but they were sitting with their clubs, so I did not get to experience their excitement too.
Mr. S and Mr. M both finished their books, but just at the last minute. We've enjoyed AWANA over the years, and it has been a blessing in so many ways; a big one being seeing that kids CAN memorize scripture early on (at 3 or younger!). However in the last year or so we've been working on so many verses/passages or the catechisms as a family that the AWANA work has not been top priority.

Mr. R did very well in his first year of T&T and also finished his book! He was presented with the "clubber of the quarter" award, which was a big encouragement to him.

Miss E did not finish her book this year; that is a first for her. While she was fairly faithful in working on it, she had so many other things to do this year that it just took a back seat to those other things. Again, AWANA has been a blessing to our family over the years, but in the last few years they have been slowly changing the books. They've been simplified quite a bit; while the older kids used to memorize entire passages of scripture, they are now learning one verse at a time, similarly to the little kids, among other things. We kind of miss the old books.

After the awards ceremony we went to the gym for cookies, and the kids got to run around and play with some friends for quite a while while Rob and I visited with friends too. After that we went to Jack-in-the-Box for an evening snack to celebrate Mr. S's baptism and the kids' hard work this year!

cleaning out my sewing stash

I've been needing to clean out the closet that houses my stash of fabric, patterns, etc, but other things have been taking priority over that project until today. I read this blog post about a way to help some families that lost so much in the recent Alabama tornadoes. While many are collecting donations and money to help them, some friends realized that restocking their sewing stashes would be low on the list, but a huge blessing to them. So they are collecting donations of fabric, notions, patterns, gift cards and financial donations to purchase sewing machines! One of the ladies, Kelly, writes a blog that has been such a blessing and encouragement to me, so I was extra excited to be able to help these dear sisters in Christ! You can read their stories on their blogs (Kelly and Sherry) and on various other blogs too.

This is what my sewing closet looked like this morning. Scary!

Here is most of the stuff I cleaned out. There are some great things in there, but I had to face the facts that I'm just not going to get around to some of it for a LONG time. I'd much rather bless these families with some things they can use now (or soon!).

*That blue rubbermaid bin is full of patterns!

Of course I was not going to send them all of my junk to sort through, just the sorts of things that had been listed as needed. So here is the pile of patterns and fabric to send to the church that is collecting all of this. It is now all boxed up and ready to be shipped out! The rest of the stuff will be donated locally.

I was able to bless some wonderful ladies, and their families and my sewing closet looks MUCH better! Yay!
If you happen to find your self needing to de-clutter your stash as well, maybe this is the time to do it! It would be a blessing to them and you!

I'm linking to Raising Homemakers today, and Organizing Junkie

lemon soap

I've been wanting to try making lemon soap since making the lavender soap. The kids picked some lemons off of my mother-in-law's tree, so I figured this was a good time to make some!

I made it using the same recipe, but instead of making a lavender "tea" I used lemon water for my liquid, and put in lemon peel and lemon essential oil. I should have used more lemon EO, or added some lemon grass EO as well as the scent was quite a bit lighter than I had wanted. I think I'll give it a try again next week, if I can find the time.

I've been enjoying soap making, and each time I try it I learn something new and/or it comes together a bit better. I'd love to try so many more scents, but I'll have to take my time in getting to those!

May move to-do list

Its May! I'm at the end of the second trimester and still feeling fairly good, now is the time to get some projects done! I have the added bonus (maybe?) of having a friend in a very similar situation of having a baby (her 5th) and moving weeks later, so we've been encouraging one another in preparing our homes/families and finishing some projects.

Here is my to-do list for this month

Pack Fall Clothes- I may skip this one since we are moving to Arizona and will not need Fall clothes right away. I have sorted through what we have and made up my list of needs. The intent had been to pack a bin of fall clothes to put in our trailer for the move thinking that we may need them when we arrived at our new home; I'm not going to stress about this one getting done.

Make list of easy meals- Sometimes its just so hard to think on the go. I'm making up a list of simple meals, the ingredients needed as well as ANY equipment needed to make these meals. This will help keep us from eating out too much during the move process, and will make grocery shopping easier. Crockpots will be my friends during this time (and when are they not?). =)

Kitchen packing list- I'll make up a packing list to go with the above list. That way I will not have to think the day before the movers arrive and I'm trying to do 100 other things and care for a newborn. My kids will be able to go down the list and pack it all in the bin if needed!

Toy bin- I'll start collecting small toys/activities to put in a bin for the move. What I can't put in now I'll put on a list in the bin to pack up at the last minute. Again, the thinking is done ahead of time so this can be finished by just about anyone in the family that can read!

De-clutter- This is the big one this month! While I would like to do this again closer to the move I'm not sure I'll be up to it. I hope to get to School bookshelves, garage, bedrooms, and the study/playroom this month. Yes, that is one area each week.

Sewing- I have some big-ish projects I'd like to get to this month including finishing up the winter PJ's, skirts for Miss E, sew some wet bags, and a wallet for me that matches my diaper bag!

reorganizing the school bookshelves

Our school bookshelves have been in need of some major reorganization and decluttering. This was my big task this week.

The kids helped me take everything off of the shelves and up to the playroom where the mess could be out of the way. This would allow me to take my time over the week to get the job done, instead of rushing through it and ending up with a so-so job.

What a mess of stuff! My first job was to sort everything into categories (including school subjects or age ranges). While I did this I also de-cluttered. I had a garbage bag, recycling bag, and a laundry basket to put things in that needed a new home (not in ours!).

Once this was done the playroom was looking better, making the task of organizing all of this back on the shelves look much more manageable.

I did away with the bins the kids were using to store their school stuff in. They were just magnets for clutter, instead we will just use the binders they have been using and one common basket for the few things that don't fit in the binders. I also moved all of the loose paper over to a wall organizer, which freed up some more space.

I put most of the pre-school type things on a top shelf where they can't get into them. However, one of the lower shelves has just a few pre-school activities that I will let the girls get into during school time. Miss J spotted this shelf right away and let out a sweet little gasp of excitement. I'll rotate these things around regularly (not quite sure how often yet, I'm thinking once a week or so).

I'm happy with how this came together. Instead of cringing at the clutter and mess I've found myself smiling at the general order of the shelves. Now we just need to keep it up! I think I'll go over some of the basics of how I have it organized with the kids so they can help with upkeep!

*I'm linking to orgjunkie.com today

Setting the tone

As moms we have the power to set the tone in our homes. Will it be a happy cheerful place, or one filled with strife? Will we use self-control in stressful difficult times, or will we lose our self-control and become a liability to our husbands/families causing more grief? Will we trust that God will lead us and guide us, knowing that he will take care of the big things and little things? These are things I've been working on for a long time (aren't we all?), and will have plenty of practice at in the coming months!

In the coming months we've got some big things happening. My husband is working on his PhD, it has been a fairly easy process up until recent months, and is shaping up to be a very busy stressful time for him. He needs to be done in August so that he can graduate in September. Baby #7 is due mid-August! If those two things were not enough, we are moving from California to Arizona at the end of September! Yikes! When I think about all that we have to do and all that will be happening at that time it would be so easy for me to become stressed, anxious, and set that tone for my family and home too. Instead when those feelings start coming up I'm doing my best to take a deep breath, pray, remember who is in charge here, and take things one step at a time.

There are plenty of things I can do to prepare for this time. In order to keep track of the things I need to do to have our home prepared for a new baby and a move I've made up a binder to list these things in, and a plan of action. There are so many things to do, but split up month by month one thing at a time, it does not look so bad.

Trusting God in all of this is the big one for me. When it comes to the months of August and September there are just so many unknowns. When will my husband finish his work? Will he be extra busy when the baby is born? What will this baby's temperament be, will he sleep? How will my recovery go? How will I keep up with the needs of our family and recover from childbirth while being a helper to my husband? When will we get orders (DH is military, we can't make any arrangements for our move until we get orders), and how will the move go? These are all things I just can't do anything about. Yes, I can prepare, but when it comes down to it they are all out of my control. I must trust God in these things, that He will provide for and protect us. By doing what I can now and being prepared it will be that much easier to deal with these unknowns. My husband likes this verse and I think it is a good one for me/our family right now. We will prepare for this "battle" but victory belongs to God!

"The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but victory belongs to the LORD." Proverbs 21:31

I'm also trying to be realistic in my hopes and expectations for this time. There are plenty of things we would love to do in July/August/September, but we're realizing we have to say "no" to many of those things. I'll also have to know when its time to put away those fun sewing/craft projects and just get to them later. I'm even scheduling some "fun" to make sure we enjoy this time!

These are not lessons that just apply to a move, childbirth or some other big life event. These are lessons for everyday life. Lessons to apply in the big things and the little things. The way I deal with life, stress, and the unknown set the tone for my family. I want to be a blessing to my family, to strive to be that Proverbs 31 woman, and teach my daughters to be as well!

*I'm also linking to Raising Homemakers